A great friend stopped by for lunch yesterday and said "I feel like every time I have your kids pegged, they change on me."
I couldn't describe it better.
Covid season, for us, has been like a hiccup of life. There have been quick-hitting inconveniences chopped in-between welcome slowness and calm. Covid has become a defining measurement in all of our lives: "Van during covid...," "Van pre-covid...," (and hopefully soon: "Van post-covid"). Each hiccup brings different challenges and in response, different parts of their personalities burst through.
Van pre-covid I would describe as incredibly schedule-oriented, successfully juggling academics and athletics without too much effort. Success in each part of his life depended on and thrived on the other. As covid drudged on, his desire to do well in school faded with his desire to be active. We tried to keep him playing tennis, golf, and jogging but all of a sudden realized it was like pulling teeth to get him moving. Likewise, his grades were struggling. At some point after his 11th birthday, I realized what this child needed more than anything was some real-life interaction and independence. I told him to focus on reading and math... let the rest go for now. I let him ride his bike to meet up with a friend at the dock and on the pond. He started catching fish and downloading George Strait songs on his MP3 player. He started strumming his guitar more often and writing his own songs. His typical Tarheel cap was replaced with a giant black cowboy hat (he bought with his own money). His usual time spent shooting hoops was replaced with planning his future self-sufficient farm and drawing boats. It will be interesting to see where "post covid Van" life takes him, especially since that involves middle school!
Jeanie pre-covid I would describe as cheerful, bubbly, and helpful. Every day in the car after school, I would get the full rundown of everything going on with her teachers and classmates. She would stroll happily into the house, help Abe like a mother-hen, and bounce onto her activity for the day. Covid days with Jeanie weren't so different. In fact, she loved the extra time outdoors, thrived in her virtual school, colored and painted bright pretty pictures, tried new water sports over the summer, and got really good at tennis! At some point after Christmas her usual cheerfulness turned slightly grumpy. Abe started aggravating her more than ever. Their usual cute bond started ending in fights and tears. She started diving into books, reading like a machine, writing her own stories, asking me lots of "grown-up" questions, trying new hair styles (ie: cutting herself some bangs), begging for her own cat, and begging to go to camp. I have a feeling we are on the cusp of her needing some independence and to be honest, it pains me a little to give it. Jeanie went into covid as a curious and cheerful 2nd grader and apparently exiting covid on the verge of becoming a clever and thoughtful 10-year-old cat mom. (Mind-blown). She loves her kitten "Dr. Moons" and takes extremely good care of him. She will go to camp for a week this summer and I have no doubt she will love the adventure.
Abe pre-covid I would describe as non-stop, full-battery, full-of-life, wants all the experiences, and extremely "passionate" about his efforts. Not much has changed there, but the combination of his fiery spirit and the lack of activities available throughout covid, have contributed to my exhaustion trying to entertain this fella. There needs to be 4 of me to do so! Virtual school for kindergarten was a major bust. He sat online and cut holes in his shorts while I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to print his worksheets and teach him basic skills. We decided playtime, coloring, and reading was more fulfilling than virtual kindergarten. Abe excelled at his running club, often outrunning middle schoolers, which helped me understand just exactly how bottomless his energy stores are. Abe entered covid an energetic barely kindergartener and will be exiting covid as an almost 2nd grader. I am grateful for all the books we read together, pictures we painted, and smoothie combinations we created in the kitchen. I am excited to watch him get involved in team sports again (and will smile being able to watch from the sidelines). I'm also thrilled to watch him develop friendships outside of his brother and sister. While they've enjoyed having each other to play with, they've also had some tackling/biting moments that aren't so fun to referee.
Pre-covid I applied for a job teaching at Cape Fear Community College. Unfortunately, the position was full-time and there was no flexibility to arrange a part-time schedule. I knew this would not be a good fit for our family-- my flexibility is crucial and I can barely manage the mom duties as it is without a full time position. Fast forward to covid 2020... the department chair at Cape Fear Community College reached back out to see if I was interested in an adjunct teaching position to accommodate the uptick in students. I happily accepted and am currently teaching my first English course in 10 years! I still love it and will always be grateful for this season because it helped me get my foot in the door at Cape Fear. I will be teaching two courses over the summer and hopefully 2-3 in the fall. Since I am documenting changes I've noticed in my children this year, it's only fair to confess the changes I've noticed in my own life. Working, in addition to everything else going on, is not easy. It's worth it for me because I really enjoy being able to use my master's degree, earning my own money, and having work to focus on outside of my home. With covid + a new job, I've sacrificed some of my own housekeeping standards (ie: the kids "fold" & put away their own laundry), the ring in the toilet never goes away, there are perpetually dirty dishes in the sink, and pet hair abounds. One of my favorite parts about working is there is now distinct difference between "work" and "relax." Before I had a job, life just felt like one big task...someone always needed something and there was always housework to be done. I am not sure why, but teaching has given me more definition between these boundaries.
Evans started working from home about a year ago and will continue to do so into the summer. Banking hasn't been the easiest industry through a pandemic, but Evans (as usual) has managed the difficulties in stride. It has been nice having him around throughout the day especially while I get used to a new role. Pre-covid brought his 40th birthday and covid brought the purchase of his long-awaited treasure, a Grady White. Hopefully post-covid brings many sunny days with friends on the boats and beaches, in fishing tournaments, tennis matches, and fun vacations.
