Abe's 7th, 8th, and 9th Birthdays

 It is hard to believe that "baby" Abe turns 10 this year. Now seems like a good time to document his 7th, 8th, and 9th birthdays before he hits double digits. For his 7th birthday, we had a costume party. His day-before-Halloween birthday always allows for a fun celebration. 

(Had to document this gift as it was a favorite for quite some time!)

We spent Abe's 8th birthday where we spend most Saturday nights in the fall... on the flag football field. He was on the Titan's Under the Lights team with some friends, so it just made sense to bring the cake to the game. We also attempted to have a "movie in the park" but due to the wind conditions, the park cancelled the movie at the last minute. Since he had invited some friends to join, (and it was dark), we decided to play hide & go seek with flashlights. Some kids hid a little too well, but it ended up being a fun night. His gift this year was to welcome his very own pet, Rusty the Red (a beta fish).

For Abe's ninth birthday, he was adamant that we go to the trampoline park. There is something about Abe's energy level that has been firecracker style since he was born. He had the best time running and jumping with all of his friends in a semi-post-covid world. What he wanted most for his 9th birthday was a real typewriter. Unfortunately, I could not find one that made sense for a 9-year-old, so I got him a good clicky keyboard to go with his tablet. 

I cannot wait to see where he wants to go for his special "mom and dad" trip for his 10th birthday. So far his #1 choice is Panther's football game in Charlotte. There is something very sentimental about having kids so close in age. Every milestone we celebrate for Van, Jeanie is right around the corner...and so is Abe! It's all going by so quickly and I know one day we will be happy to look back on all the fun celebrations.

Van's 11th, 12th, & 13th Birthdays

How do we have a teenager? How have I missed writing about three birthdays already? I wish these days would sometimes move a little slower like they seemed to when the kids were younger. For Van's 11th birthday, he asked to invite some buddies to go fishing at the Johnny Mercer pier:

                                         

For Van's 12th birthday, he already had a camping trip with scouts to Masonboro Island. He enjoyed that, and then asked if Evans could take a few of his good friends fishing that Sunday they returned home. Evans literally loaded up the camping gear back onto the boat and rode straight to the marina to pick up Van's friends. It was a beautiful day (and only one friend fell into the water!! ;-). 

He decided to break the fishing theme for his 13th birthday and wanted to have a big sleepover after the school fall festival that happened to fall on his birthday. It was a lot of rap music, basketball, Gatorade, donuts, pizza, and fun. The boys rode bikes to the marina and went on a little boat ride. They stayed up most of the night chatting and watching movies. Thirteen years of celebrating a really awesome kid... I cannot believe how much he has accomplished in 13 years. I do miss him being little, but I am equally as excited about the young man he is becoming. 

(A full wipe out nap post sleepover.)

Life 2021

A great friend stopped by for lunch yesterday and said "I feel like every time I have your kids pegged, they change on me."

I couldn't describe it better.

Covid season, for us, has been like a hiccup of life. There have been quick-hitting inconveniences chopped in-between welcome slowness and calm. Covid has become a defining measurement in all of our lives: "Van during covid...," "Van pre-covid...," (and hopefully soon: "Van post-covid"). Each hiccup brings different challenges and in response, different parts of their personalities burst through.

Van pre-covid I would describe as incredibly schedule-oriented, successfully juggling academics and athletics without too much effort. Success in each part of his life depended on and thrived on the other. As covid drudged on, his desire to do well in school faded with his desire to be active. We tried to keep him playing tennis, golf, and jogging but all of a sudden realized it was like pulling teeth to get him moving. Likewise, his grades were struggling. At some point after his 11th birthday, I realized what this child needed more than anything was some real-life interaction and independence. I told him to focus on reading and math... let the rest go for now. I let him ride his bike to meet up with a friend at the dock and on the pond. He started catching fish and downloading George Strait songs on his MP3 player. He started strumming his guitar more often and writing his own songs. His typical Tarheel cap was replaced with a giant black cowboy hat (he bought with his own money). His usual time spent shooting hoops was replaced with planning his future self-sufficient farm and drawing boats. It will be interesting to see where "post covid Van" life takes him, especially since that involves middle school!

Jeanie pre-covid I would describe as cheerful, bubbly, and helpful. Every day in the car after school, I would get the full rundown of everything going on with her teachers and classmates. She would stroll happily into the house, help Abe like a mother-hen, and bounce onto her activity for the day. Covid days with Jeanie weren't so different. In fact, she loved the extra time outdoors, thrived in her virtual school, colored and painted bright pretty pictures, tried new water sports over the summer, and got really good at tennis! At some point after Christmas her usual cheerfulness turned slightly grumpy. Abe started aggravating her more than ever. Their usual cute bond started ending in fights and tears. She started diving into books, reading like a machine, writing her own stories,  asking me lots of "grown-up" questions, trying new hair styles (ie: cutting herself some bangs), begging for her own cat, and begging to go to camp. I have a feeling we are on the cusp of her needing some independence and to be honest, it pains me a little to give it. Jeanie went into covid as a curious and cheerful 2nd grader and apparently exiting covid on the verge of becoming a clever and thoughtful 10-year-old cat mom. (Mind-blown). She loves her kitten "Dr. Moons" and takes extremely good care of him. She will go to camp for a week this summer and I have no doubt she will love the adventure.

Abe pre-covid I would describe as non-stop, full-battery, full-of-life, wants all the experiences, and extremely "passionate" about his efforts. Not much has changed there, but the combination of his fiery spirit and the lack of activities available throughout covid, have contributed to my exhaustion trying to entertain this fella. There needs to be 4 of me to do so! Virtual school for kindergarten was a major bust. He sat online and cut holes in his shorts while I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to print his worksheets and teach him basic skills. We decided playtime, coloring, and reading was more fulfilling than virtual kindergarten. Abe excelled at his running club, often outrunning middle schoolers, which helped me understand just exactly how bottomless his energy stores are. Abe entered covid an energetic barely kindergartener and will be exiting covid as an almost 2nd grader. I am grateful for all the books we read together, pictures we painted, and smoothie combinations we created in the kitchen. I am excited to watch him get involved in team sports again (and will smile being able to watch from the sidelines). I'm also thrilled to watch him develop friendships outside of his brother and sister. While they've enjoyed having each other to play with, they've also had some tackling/biting moments that aren't so fun to referee. 

Pre-covid I applied for a job teaching at Cape Fear Community College. Unfortunately, the position was full-time and there was no flexibility to arrange a part-time schedule. I knew this would not be a good fit for our family-- my flexibility is crucial and I can barely manage the mom duties as it is without a full time position. Fast forward to covid 2020... the department chair at Cape Fear Community College reached back out to see if I was interested in an adjunct teaching position to accommodate the uptick in students. I happily accepted and am currently teaching my first English course in 10 years! I still love it and will always be grateful for this season because it helped me get my foot in the door at Cape Fear. I will be teaching two courses over the summer and hopefully 2-3 in the fall. Since I am documenting changes I've noticed in my children this year, it's only fair to confess the changes I've noticed in my own life. Working, in addition to everything else going on, is not easy. It's worth it for me because I really enjoy being able to use my master's degree, earning my own money, and having work to focus on outside of my home. With covid + a  new job, I've sacrificed some of my own housekeeping standards (ie: the kids "fold" & put away their own laundry), the ring in the toilet never goes away, there are perpetually dirty dishes in the sink, and pet hair abounds. One of my favorite parts about working is there is now distinct difference between "work" and "relax." Before I had a job, life just felt like one big task...someone always needed something and there was always housework to be done. I am not sure why, but teaching has given me more definition between these boundaries. 

Evans started working from home about a year ago and will continue to do so into the summer. Banking hasn't been the easiest industry through a pandemic, but Evans (as usual) has managed the difficulties in stride. It has been nice having him around throughout the day especially while I get used to a new role. Pre-covid brought his 40th birthday and covid brought the purchase of his long-awaited treasure, a Grady White. Hopefully post-covid brings many sunny days with friends on the boats and beaches, in fishing tournaments, tennis matches, and fun vacations. 

Jeanie turns 8!

 Jeanie wanted a "zebra-themed t-shirt painting/minute to win it" birthday party. It was really fun and her favorite girls came to help her feel celebrated. I don't have the words to express how joyful and nurturing she is but "delightful" seems to capture her well. Often times she feels stuck between two high-energy, feisty brothers and she finds a way to get along smoothly with both. She can throw a football, paint her own nails, play the piano, bake muffins, feed our birds, surf, run really fast, adores her Letty, and loves to read all Beverly Cleary books. Happy 8 years to my favorite, favorite girl who is never short on kindness, resilient, tough and loving!! 

Van turns 10, Abe is 6!

 We told our kids that each child can have a getaway with just mom & dad (within reason) to celebrate their 10th birthday. Van said he would love to go to Pinehurst, play some golf, watch some football, eat good food, and try a real coke for the first time. Waking up on his chilly birthday morning to have coffee and chat with our newly crowned 10 year old was a special moment I do not want to forget. It was the first time in years we had a chance to just be with him alone...to filter all of his questions, dreams, and goals. At ten, Van has already outlined the majority of his future. He's designed his custom home in the everglades where he will drive a truck, have a few boats, be a professional sports fisherman...with a side of NBA playing, perhaps :) and of course playing his guitar. He is definitely pivoting from a child to a teen and while that brings some challenges with independence and boundaries he is an extremely good role model for his brother, sister, and friends. Van's soul is kind and extremely patient and I'm very proud of the young man he is becoming!

Abe is still our firecracker with a never-ending battery fully charged with energy.  At 6 years old, Abe is extremely spirited and passionate. His goal most days is to one-up Jeanie and Van, whether that means holding a plank the longest, running the fastest, having the most homework, or staying up the latest, bless his busy little soul. He's a terrific student, follows instructions, and loves school. My favorite memories of Abe this year are snuggling in his bed re-reading Mercy Watson books over and over and laughing together. I also loved watching him proudly graduate from kindergarten and winning the sportsmanship award. He still gives the tightest hugs.  For his 6th birthday, he wanted to have a sports party with all his buddies.We love you, Abe! 

2020.

I am so grateful October brings the rich flavors of a new season. 

My word of the season is "savor." 

I want to savor the hugs, throwing the football in the sunshine, baking chocolate chip peanut butter cookies, sunset strolls, reading with Abe every night at bedtime, Friday night movie nights, singing our favorite hymns alongside the virtual church broadcast, sticking our feet in the sand a few more times before its cold, lighting the pumpkin/honey/pine-scented candles, the aromas of sautéed onion and garlic on their way into a delicious soul-filling dinner, hand-writing sincere thank you notes, celebrating both boys' birthdays, watching Jean-Margaret fill the bird feeder on a crispy morning and chatting with the birds who visit, paddle-boarding across a peaceful waterway, listening to Van play his favorite song on the guitar, meeting a dear friend for wine, laughter and swapping tales of 2020, admiring the way a glop of gold paint can swirl around the canvas with a palette knife, watching our burnt orange mums start to bloom, noticing the the varying shapes and colors of the pumpkins, their stems, soaking in ALL the giggles...and sharing a perfect cup of coffee with Evans on the back porch or on a boat cruise.

Savoring the beauty of this season blooms from the despair and overwhelming complexity of 2020. I have a sincere thirst for indulging in all the senses and celebrating even the smallest moments life has to offer this fall. What keeps refreshing my hope in this world are these precious souls:

Van (5th), Jean-Margaret (3rd), Abe (1st)

The kids check temperatures twice daily, fill out three covid affidavits each morning, drop off at three separate locations, have A/B schedules for Van, wear masks all day, have socially distanced recess... (Van mentioned, for him, recess has turned into "the worst hour of the day"), zero sports teams or gymnastics...very few birthday parties.  It has been so inspiring to watch them tackle all of these obstacles in stride. 

I wonder how this will affect them emotionally down the road, or even next year. Will this all disappear? Will they feel increased anxiety in groups or without a mask? Will they miss having more time to play at home? We will go back to our "old life" juggling so many activities and sports? How will they remember 2020? Mom was super irritable and edgy? Mom was a superhero and homeschooled us on the fly? Will a new president set a new tone for their future? I'm not sure. But I do want to remember that despite the unpredictability of 2020 I attempted to remain steady, hopeful, and savor it all.