Happy 5 Years Van!

Dear Van,

Its 9pm on your fifth birthday. The cupcakes for your classroom party are in the oven. I have a few minutes while they are baking to write you a little note. (In all honesty there are about 500+ things I need to be doing right now, but this seems most important and I'd be a fool not to jot down some of the amazing things about you at five years old--such a milestone!)

The first thing that keeps coming to my mind is how much fun we have had celebrating your life this weekend. If you want to know the truth-- I feel like I have been waiting my entire life to have a five year old...JUST. LIKE. YOU.  You have your quirks--mainly an insatiable curiosity that tends to worry about seemingly random things but usually always meanders back to the most purely honest intentions. (IE: "Mom--we never turn left at this stoplight. If we turn left--where do we go?" and "Mom--when I turn the last number, do I pop back in your belly?")

I am often speechless.

But your HEART is what I want to emphasize: ITS SO BIG.

You love helping us take care of Jeanie and Abe, you love learning to do things by yourself, you love holding your foot up to mine to see how much farther until your toes reach mine (they are getting frighteningly close!) You love to play with your race cars (and when you share these with Abe and play together it melts my  heart!) You are ambitious as ever with your musical pursuits (your first consistent drawings and paintings are all stages--with lights, guitars, and portraits of Eric Clapton). You hoard CDs and steal them from your dad and me. You have just finished your first soccer team and kept up with all the big fellas--scoring goals and dribbling down the field (although I am not positive you understood which goal to kick towards--but that's no biggie ;-)   You have taken an interest in your weekend dates with Pop Pop to Golfsmith which has fueled your request to receive your first set of clubs for your birthday-- a request so kindly answered by your wonderful grandparents.

We are SO proud of the little boy you have become. I have waited my whole life to get to know YOU and what is going on in that beautiful little mind. I cannot wait for so many more discoveries and experiences with you and our family. I still sing "baby Van" night night song to you and you always close your eyes to listen. The other night you interrupted me and said: "But mom, I am not a baby anymore" to which I replied "well--should we change the words to 'big boy' Van?" and you answered: "Nope... Hey Mom?... I sort of like you."

I had to hold back the tears. I'll take it. Love you Van!

Love,
Mom

Summer!

I feel inspired to write a blog post this morning in attempt to anchor a slice of our life into thoughts. The word that most quickly comes to mind is: challenging.

I always want this blog to represent happy memories so that if I never complete Jean-Margaret and Abe's baby books, we have a sturdy flow of pictures and stories to refer to. Usually I try to let the difficulties roll out of my mind when I sit down to type, but today that just seems impossible. Don't get me wrong-- there is no mistaking that our month has been filled with amazing moments--a wonderful 4th of July, a fun week at the beach, my first surf lesson, some priceless visits with old friends, and some wonderful memories in our own home. There is no doubt we have uncountable blessings that leave my heart overflowing with joy. Yet there is something very raw about the way Evans and I have both learned to function around having three small children that leaves me experiencing a new level of exhaustion. Yes we are sleeping through the night but even with a good night's sleep and 4 cups of coffee, its nearly impossible to always keep tabs on three tiny mobile human beings. I constantly strain my eyes to have an eye on all three at once...I push myself physically to attempt to have three arms at once. My brain is constantly sifting through three other schedules, emotions, and priorities before my own. Sometimes our commitment to each other and our children is the only thing left at the end of the day and I am so grateful for that foundation.  A "normal" day is challenging to say the least, but if you add an ear infection, teething, fevers, viruses, and random behavioral shifts into the mix -- well... that's when you have to dig as deeply as you can, let your other children see you smile, and attempt with your grittiest effort to gracefully navigate your day.  My new mantra: lets just keep everyone alive around here...happiness is always icing on the cake :)

Here are some wonderful pictures to balance the joys with the difficulties.

This needs a caption... Evans and Jae doing some night swimming in the sound :)

This video below is already outdated! Abe is full-force crawling faster than any of us can keep up with. You blink: he's poking his fingers around the outlets and pulling on cords...he will pull up and cruise onto anything his level. (Repeat mantra here: Lets just keep everyone alive ;)